PUZZLE LIFE

Back on the days, people used to tell me that life is this giant puzzle game...at least it could be seen that way...and we should find the pieces to put them all together and fill in the blanks so it would aaallll make sense somehow.
A person could be a piece to fit, a career, a marriage, love, family, a car, plans, even a piece of furniture...who knows?!....
Well, in my whole childhood I played jigsaw puzzles and stuff....but that's different. When you're all grown up, it gets pretty hard to recognize what might actually fit in your "game".
Those pieces are complicated to find nowadays, and sometimes you don't like what you find but it suddenly fits.
Unfortunately, you never know what you're exactly looking for....you're just searching blindly, and most of the times it's missing a bunch of "whatevers"and it can take a lifetime for you to cross into them......so the emptiness remains. Those blanked spots in the middle of your board are really annoying. I know, I know...it's hard to accept it. but you can't take anything and try putting it in there just so you can finish it quickly.
The ones who have no patience aren't really ready to understand it and play. Are you?
Sorry, but that's life....some had said.....

HIGH SEAS

He was left alone at that boat
Floating on a sea made of tears
Dragged by unmanageable feelings
Suffocated in his own breathing

The sky above was shiny and gold
He kept staring at it till the darkness showed up
It was fascinating how loud his heart could beat
Drums announcing an upcoming inner storm....

He watched his beard grow day by day....
He felt his soul shrink little by little....
A prisioner of life's joke.

He loved more than he could bear
And he jumped into sail without care
Would he ever go back to shore? Did he want to?
He decided he couldn't live like that anymore

The sky's colors were so amazingly bright
Till he saw himself in solitude.
So he grabbed his pocketknife and carved on the wooden mast...
Something never to be read again....

If he jumped afterwards...that's unknown...
Those words.....well, they'll be there on that same boat
High seas...
For someone from somewhere, for somehow......always to ship on.

....

Disapointment...
Hate...
Shame...
Catastrophy...
Mess...
Trash....
Stupidity...
Cowardness...
Blindness...
Mediocracy...
Self-pity....
Selfishness...
Fear...
Crazyness....
Failure....
Deepness....
Feelings....
.......in a box.....
..........................Me.

WHAT WAS LEFT....

It's like pleasure beside you

Joy and fun

A strange feeling embracing me 

For so long I wished there was some more

From you to me

Now there won't be anything

from me to you

Cause I felt like you're the other half

But time isn't right

Place is never right

And  I don't wanna see

Don't want to see......ever again...

Your will to self destruction

Your runaways from happiness

Your power to confuse our minds...

Sniffing through my hair

Holding my hands tight

Bringing me security and peace.....

In a second fraction you lead me to darkness, though

That's enough

No more. There will be no more....

Just nothing.....left of us.

too complicated.......

UNEXPECTEDLY....

There are few good things that happen in an unlucky person's life that can actually be noticeable by these ones in particular. Perceiving isn't a common or well-known ability in these people's head, you know. But then, as I recognize myself, at last, as a belonging of this group, I struggle to do so.
These last few months showed me a new perspective in life. Life, as we know it, brought me a valuable gift. A friend, a confident, the best companionship I could've ever wished for. Not funnily enough, it sort of became more than that, which can and could be a hell of a problem, but we're handling it as we can and should anyway.
It's very hard nowadays to find someone we can count on, trust and feel comfortable as never to dismantle any subject or atomic bomb that comes to the table. Well, be jealous, cause I got it.
Luckly, the unlucky one had its share of kindness from life. And I'm learning to value it as much as I can, cause I see it as a true treasure. So, I'm treasuring it.
Thanx, life, and thank YOU so much for your existance on the face of the earth, more precisely, in a squared area next to me! ^^

A DAY GOIN' BY....

She could've made a call. Decided to keep it all in. Ita was all spinning around her and she didn't care. Got some paper and crayon.....nothing came out. She got her cell phone...then put it away....Sat on the floor n held her knees.....Facing the wall, staring at nothing.....trying to breathe....Thought of her long gone plans.....her life was ahead of her.....but she couldn't make up her mind.....Half na hour passed.....she made some coffee....got her ciggarette pack.....went out to see the sun...it was a brigh shinning day outside....it was dark and could in the inside....no expressions. She was craving for the rain...in vain. Stared at the cell phone again...and left it there.Went to take a shower....wash it all out....half na hour passed again....would'n use the dryer, but combed her hair....ten, twenty, thirty fucking times...and it didn't seem right. Got some more coffee, another ciggarette.....looked up in the mirror....didn't care. She sat and daydreamed.....she sat and fell asleep.....too long for her to stand. She woke up a little hungry.....she wouldn't make a snack.....felt sick, numb.....she laid down on the floor....analyzed the paintings on her room....it sucked! Na hour went by.....she took a deep breath. Turned on the radio, threw some paper on the trash...together with her thoughts......it was already six o'clock. Her son arrived from school...And God put a smile on her face.